Name, describe, and give an example of each of the three types of interpersonal conflict. Then, provide strategies for avoiding each type.

What will be an ideal response?

1. Pseudoconflict
- Pseudo means false. Pseudoconflict occurs when people simply miss the meaning in a message. It's conflict triggered by a lack of understanding and miscommunication. Unless the people clear up the misunderstanding by looking for more information, a real conflict might ensue.
- For example, Misha and Carolyn are meeting friends in the city on Friday night, and Carolyn suggests taking the train so they won't have to battle traffic and pay a lot of money to park their car. Misha strongly objects to taking the train because by the time the two are going back home, the trains will be infrequent, and they may have to wait alone for a long time late at night.
- Carolyn replied, "I never intended to go home on the train. My friend George who will be there on Saturday offered to give us a ride home. Misha countered, "Why didn't you say so in the first place?""It never occurred to me that you'd think we would take the train home late at night," said Carolyn.
- To avoid these misunderstandings: check perceptions, listen between the lines, and be supportive, not defensive.
2. Simple conflict
- Simple conflict exists when people understand each other but disagree. What each wants interferes with achieving what the other wants.
- For example, David and Robert both want to play Nintendo. David wants to play "007 Golden Eye" and Robert wants to play "Turok." Neither can play the game he wants at the same time as the other. To keep the conflict from escalating into personal attacks, try these strategies:
- Clarify your and your partner's understanding of the issues and your partner's understanding of the source of the disagreement.
- Keep the discussion focused on facts and the issue at hand, rather than bringing up past disagreements.
- Look for more than just the initial solutions; generate many options.
- Don't try to tackle too many issues at once.
- Find agreement where you can.
- If tempers begin to flare and conflict is escalating, take time to cool off and then come back.
3. Ego conflict
- Ego conflict occurs when personality becomes the primary issue rather than the goals and resources that seemed to start the conflict.
- When David and Robert fight over the use of the Nintendo, David says "you aren't a good gamer anyway and don't deserve to play first." Robert replies, "you are self-absorbed and cheap, and that's why you can't get a girlfriend!"
- To deescalate an ego conflict:
- Stay focused on issues.
- Make the issue a problem to be solved, rather than a battle to be won.
- Write down what you want to say.
- When things get personal, make a vow not to reciprocate.