Explain how you might use the conflict management skills of managing emotions,

information, goals, and problems in the following situation.
You and your roommate agreed on a schedule and responsibilities for chores. At first, all went
well.

Then gradually, week after week, one excuse after another, your roommate began to fail
to follow through. At first it was no big deal; a dish here, a sock there. But now your roommate
has left dishes in the sink for three days and hasn?t taken out the trash in a week. The
bathroom is a mess, the shower especially. The last straw was the large blueberry stain in the
middle of the living room floor. You can?t take it anymore, you are furious. You?ve let it slide
long enough and decide to let her know how you feel.
What will be an ideal response?

The first thing to do is to manage your emotions. You don?t want to confront your
roommate when you?re this worked up. Leave the apartment, take a walk, and cool
down. Spend a little time talking to yourself. Maybe something is going on you don?t
know about. When your roommate comes home indicate that there are some things you
want to talk about and ask about a convenient time to get together. Once the meeting is
arranged, give some thought to what you want to say and how you want to say it. What
do you want to accomplish? You might want to talk with another friend to help clarify
the issues. If there is no one else to talk with, write some of your ideas down to help
clarify the issues. When you do talk with the other person, keep your emotions under
control. If you feel yourself getting angry and tense, deliberately relax or take a break.
Speak in a calm and natural manner. Whatever you do, avoid personal attacks,
name-calling, and threats. Don?t dredge up grievances from long ago, but keep focused
on the issues at hand.
When you begin to talk with your roommate describe what is bothering you as clearly
as you can. Start at the beginning and move to the present. Make sure your roommate
understands what it is that is bothering you. Be sure to use ?I? statements, listen
carefully, and check your perceptions often. When your roommate is talking roommate
is talking, give him or her your full attention and do your best to understand his or her
position. Use paraphrasing that reflects content and feelings to make sure you
understand and respond appropriately. You may have clarified your goals earlier, but
as you talk and listen, your goals may change. Be sure to clarify not only your own
goals but also those of your roommate, and try to discover any shared goals you might
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have. As you discover shared goals you build the basis for a possible solution to the
conflict.
If you have clarified both your goals and your roommate?s, and have identified some
shared goals, you have begun the process of defining the problem. Once you have a
sense of what the problem is, you can begin to analyze the symptoms, effects, and
obstacles that affect your ability to resolve the conflict. You may discover other
problems that lie below the surface and need to be addressed. Once you have a good
grasp of the problem, work with your roommate to generate objective criteria to help
evaluate and choose a solution. Then generate as many possible ways to solve the
problem as the two of you possibly can. Brainstorming might be a useful technique.
Once you have generated a number of possibilities, check them against your criteria and
pick the alternative or alternatives that best meet your goals.