Corrective Email to Staff Analyze the following email message for content, formatting, and email practices. Revise the message. TO: Staff SUBJECT: Changes It has come to my attention that some of you apparently do not have enough work to keep you busy

In the past six months since I assumed the position as your boss, I have observed many of you playing computer games, making personal phone calls, and spending far too much time in personal conversations with each other. We have far too much work in this department for all of you to waste time like this. Effective immediately, the following changes will be enforced: 1)No personal use of the computer will be tolerated. 2)No personal phone calls unless emergency. 3)Conversations must be limited to break time and lunchtime, in the lunchroom only. I expect your cooperation. Thank you. Just a final reminder that we will have a staff meeting tomorrow at 3 p.m.

1 . Subject line should be more detailed but not negative.
2 . Tone of the email should not be harsh and condescending to avoid damage to morale and interpersonal relations.
3 . Email should start by reminding staff of the busy workload, focusing on a positive team-approach for accomplishing the daily work.
4 . Policy regarding personal used of the computer and phones should be reviewed. Facts should be stated clearly to the staff, but not in a harsh tone.
5 . The staff meeting reminder should be sent in another email and not written as an afterthought to this email.
6 . The email should preferably be sent as a confirmation of the changes, following discussion in a face-to-face staff meeting.

A proposed solution follows:

TO: Staff
SUBJECT: Reminder of Use of Break/Lunch Time

Hello everyone,

Most of you have noticed the increased workload we've had in the past few months. Some of you have worked extra hard to keep up with the demands, but it's become increasingly important that everyone give 100% so we can all avoid working overtime. Staying on top of things requires a team effort with everyone working hard.

I'd like to remind you to take advantage of your morning and afternoon breaks and give yourself your full lunch time. This will help relieve work stress and give you a regular scheduled time to chat with your co-workers. Feel free to use the tables outside in the courtyard or the lunchroom. Break and lunch time should not be used to play computer games, as company policy requires that computers be used for work purposes only. Also, please limit personal phone calls on the company phone to emergency situations. Following these guidelines will allow all of us to be more productive.

We have a good staff and I appreciate your hard work.

Thanks,

xx