Your sister, Monica, is telling you about her three roommates. It seems none of them will

follow the schedule they agreed on for cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms.

Monica has
just about had enough -- she returned from a weekend away only to find the living room full
of empty pizza boxes and beer cans. ?I just don?t think I can live like this anymore. I can?t
afford to find another place, but I?m so upset I can?t focus on the research paper that?s due next
week,? she complains. Using the skills of empathetic listening, discuss the four techniques and
give an example of each that would be an appropriate response to Monica. In addition, explain
the expected consequences from using this type of listening with your sister.
What will be an ideal response?

The first step of listening with empathy is to understand your partner?s feelings. This
involves ?decentering? yourself, so that you are focused on the other person and their
feelings rather than on your own feelings or thoughts. If you have experienced exactly
the same situation, you might remember the frustrations you felt. At any rate, to help
you accomplish this, put aside what you were doing and give her your full attention.
The next technique is to ask questions. You might be seeking clarification, more
information, or checking to see if your interpretation is clear. You might ask Monica,
?Did they tell you about their plans for a party?? ?Did they apologize and say they
would clean it up?? In addition, you can use paraphrasing. Paraphrasing for content is
putting into your own words the information you received. ?You said that you came
back after being gone for only a weekend?? Also, you may paraphrase for feelings. ?You
sound really at the end of your rope and angry.? Using these techniques allows you to
clarify any information you might have misunderstood, understand her feelings, allow
her to clarify her feelings, communicate to her that you are enough to listen, and help
her work through her situation.