Ned received the following "?ame" e-mail from Jean, a woman he has been dating for three months. "Ned:

You are a horrible, horrible man. How dare you stand me up! I waited for you for three hours.

You couldn't
have made me feel worse if you tried. Happy? Who do you think you are? I hope you rot. Even better, I hope
you meet the love of your life who treats you the same way you treat me. Have the worst life ever! Jean."
How should Ned respond? Write his response below.


What will be an ideal response?

Whatever Ned decides to do, Ned should not become defensive and send an equally hateful e-mail in return.
Instead, he needs to try to create a more positive communication climate. Perhaps this is best done in person.
Instead of placing blame by using "you statements," he should use "I statements." For example, instead of "Jean, you
have no right to speak to me this way. How dare you insult me!" He could say, "Jean, I am so sorry I stood you up
last night. I realize I made you very angry and I wish you did not feel the need to attack me personally." Another
technique Ned could use is to detach himself from Jean's defensiveness. By stepping back and analyzing her
behavior, he reduces the chance of becoming defensive in return.

Communication & Mass Media

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