Darlene and Bill have always been firm disciplinarians. Family has always been first in every

decision. They expect their children to be well behaved and obey the rules. Their oldest boy is
now 17 and is displaying some alarming behaviors.

He is increasingly argumentative, refuses to
do his chores, and consistently violates curfew. When grounded or punished with loss of
privileges, he says he doesn't care. Use the circumplex model of family interaction to explain
what you think is going on in this family and what might be done about it.
What will be an ideal response?

* By applying the circumplex model of family interaction, it might be safely assumed that this
family has been enmeshed for a long time. The emphasis on family and obedience suggests a
rigid and inflexible approach to family relationships. It seems likely that as the son moves
through adolescence, he wants more freedom and independence, which his parents are afraid to
give him. This causes him to feel angered and rebellious and results in defiant behavior. Yet he
has not "left" the family.
* The odds are that communication in the family has been self-oriented, employing defensive
behaviors as opposed to supportive. Now that the son is older and seeking independence, his
parents are reluctant to give up control. The parents need to reduce control messages, especially
coercion and threats, and focus on problem solving. An overemphasis on control often results in
rebellion. The parents seem not to trust the son's ability to make wise decisions.
* The family needs to develop an other-orientation and some supportive communication skills.
They need to learn cooperative conflict management skills and take time to talk about
relationships and feelings. They need to listen actively, paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal messages, and checking perceptions is essential. They also need to develop a more
supportive and encouraging atmosphere.