Explain the types of communication that invalidate people. Describe the attributes of validating communication. Provide specific examples

What will be an ideal response?

Answer: Communication that is invalidating arouses negative feelings about self-worth, identity, and relatedness to others. It denies the presence, uniqueness, or importance of other individuals. Communication is invalidating when it denies the other person an opportunity to establish a mutually satisfying relationship or when contributions cannot be made by both parties. Communications that invalidate people include conveying superiority, rigidity, indifference, and imperviousness. Superiority-oriented communication can take the form of put-downs, in which the others are made to look bad so the communicator looks good, or it can take the form of one-upmanship, in which the communicator tries to elevate him- or herself in the esteem of others. Another form of this type of communication is the use of jargon, acronyms, or words used in such a way as to exclude others or to create barriers in a relationship. Rigidity relates to communication that is portrayed as absolute, unequivocal, or unquestionable. No other opinion or point of view could possibly be considered. People who communicate in dogmatic, know-it-all ways often do so in order to minimize others' contributions. Rigidity can also be conveyed in the following ways: reinterpreting all other viewpoints to conform to one's own; having an answer for everything; appearing unwilling to tolerate criticisms or alternative points of view; reducing complex issues to simplistic definitions. Indifference occurs when the other person's existence or importance is not acknowledged. A person may do this by using silence, by making no verbal response to the other's statements, by avoiding eye contact or any facial expression, by interrupting the other person frequently, by using impersonal words, or by engaging in unrelated activities during a conversation. Imperviousness means the communicator does not acknowledge the feelings or opinions of the other person. They are either labeled illegitimate or they are labeled as ignorant. Being impervious means to ignore or make unimportant the personal feelings or thoughts of another. It serves to exclude the other person's contribution to the conversation or the relationship.

Validating communication helps people feel recognized, understood, accepted, and valued. Attributes of validating communication are egalitarian, flexible, two-way, and based on agreement. Respectful, egalitarian communication is especially important when a person in a higher status interacts with a person in a lower status. Communicators using an egalitarian approach treat subordinates as worthwhile, competent, and insightful and emphasize joint problem solving rather than projecting a superior position. Flexibility involves the willingness of the communicator to indicate to another person that he/she may possess additional data, and that other alternatives exist that may make significant contributions to the problem solution or relationship. It means indicating genuine humility and a willingness to learn; it also involves being open to new experiences and new insights. Two-way communication is an implied result of respectfulness and flexibility. Individuals feel validated when they are asked questions, given airtime to express their opinions, and encouraged to participate actively in the conversation. Two-way interchange communicates the message that subordinates are valued by managers and that an atmosphere of collaboration and teamwork exists. Identifying areas of agreement and joint commitment is the final attribute. One way to express validation based on agreement is to identify positive behaviors and attitudes as well as negative ones during a coaching and counseling session. A manager should point out important points made by a subordinate before pointing out trivial ones, areas of agreement before areas of disagreement, advantages of the subordinate's statements before disadvantages, and compliments before criticism.